I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
