I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
