Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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