Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
