garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
