nut hugger
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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