I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
