She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
