It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
