you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize