I showed him my bush... on skype.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
