I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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