think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
