Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
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