I got chris browned last night
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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