He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
