Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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