how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
