hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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