those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
