U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
