I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
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