Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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