I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
