It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
