Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so let's talk penis.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
