i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
