were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Less talking, more tequila
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
