Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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