i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The beer is more important than you right now.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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