At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
