i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
