ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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