i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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