No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I don't deserve a penis
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
