its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
