I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
