Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Randomize
