I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
