Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
this will be a night to untag.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
