i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize