Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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