paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
