Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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