Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
