i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
