idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
