Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Its about making memories worth repressing
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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