I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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