Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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