We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
