I'm really into asian looking animals
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
