So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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