That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize