rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
