$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
