Screwed.edu
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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