Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You were trust falling into bushes
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
