Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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