somebody snuck up and got me drunk
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Boobs are out for the taking
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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