She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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